Beyond Performance -
A seminar on conscious male sexuality and shadow work.
Saturday February 21st, 2026 14.00 Uhr until Midnight.
Adress will be announced with registration
Maximale Teilnehmerzahl: 6
Authentic Sexuality: Discover your new manhood beyond old patterns.
A workshop for men who want more than the cliché.
A place where experienced sex workers share their knowledge about sexuality and slow sex with us.
Are you ready to redefine your sexuality?
What it's about:
Many men experience their sexuality within a tension between performance pressure, goal orientation, and outdated gender roles. Often, deeper needs for intimacy remain unfulfilled, or they are compensated for through dominance and unconscious overstepping of boundaries.
This seminar offers a radically honest and safe space to not only understand these patterns but also to directly experience and change them.
The approach:
In a therapeutically guided setting, we explore the roots of male sexual behavior. We are supported by experienced sex workers who act as experts and co-trainers in this context. They are not available for consumption, but rather as women with extensive experience, sexual training, and, importantly, as authentic counterparts!
What we do:
In guided, therapeutic sequences, you will enter into direct physical and sexual contact with women. Unlike in everyday life or conventional settings, here you receive something that men often lack: honest, immediate feedback from a female perspective by the sex workers present, who guide and support us men with their deeper understanding of male sexuality.
The goal:
We soften the fixation on penetration and orgasm as the "end goal." It's about releasing the enormous pressure and learning to fill sexuality with relaxation, deep self-awareness, and presence. Recognize yourself in the mirror of an honest encounter and discover a sexuality that nourishes rather than performs.
We're taking a close look.
Where does sexual neediness begin?
In simple words
The point at which my desire for sex becomes so urgent that I pay less attention to the needs, boundaries and feelings of others, or put myself under excessive pressure to suffer.
Example:
A person is so fixated on achieving sexual gratification that they subtly or overtly pressure another person to consent. They see the other person primarily as a means to gratification and not as an equal partner. Another example would be when sexual urges dominate daily life and other important areas of life (such as work or social contacts) are severely neglected.
Where do I act from a patriarchal selfunder-standing?
In simple words
It is the inner belief that men, due to their gender, have certain privileges, more authority, or a "natural" right to certain things (e.g., freedom of choice, sexual initiative) than other genders.
Example:
In communication: A man regularly interrupts women or explains things to them that he assumes they don't know (so-called "mansplaining"), because he unconsciously assumes that his perspective or knowledge is more important.
In a sexual context: A man believes that he always has the right to make the first move, or that the woman is responsible for the mood, because he claims the active role for himself and assigns the passive/reactive role to his partner.
Where do I cross boundaries?
In simple words
The question is when I cross another person's "invisible walls" because I misinterpret their signals, don't listen carefully, or prioritize my own desires over their needs.
Examples:
Physical boundary violation: Getting too close to someone during a conversation, even though they are visibly pulling away. Initiating a hug even though you know the person dislikes being touched, or placing a hand on a part of the body during sexual contact even though the partner has not given explicit consent (no "yes"), even if it is "only" a light touch.
Psychological boundary violations: Disclosing private or sensitive information about a person when they expected confidentiality. Using emotional blackmail or insults in an argument to manipulate or hurt the other person. Constantly demanding that the partner explain their feelings when they signal that they need peace and quiet.
Why are sex workers our teachers?
In many beautiful and intense conversations, I was repeatedly able to see how much sex workers have experienced with men and their sexuality. Over the years of their work, they have acquired a great deal of real knowledge about men's desires, fears, ideas, and shame. Sex workers are practiced in the radical acceptance that enables men to let go of their shame and express their true desires and insecurities.
They experience men, even on a 'business' basis, in their needs, worries, and even ideas that so often do not correspond to reality.
They develop a good sense of where men are in their sexuality, how authentic or alien they are to themselves when it comes to intimacy and sexuality.
This is different from the knowledge presented in traditional sex therapy. And there is an even greater difference in how the learning environment is designed.
It's also important that these teachers aren't just sex workers, who are often negatively connotated by society, but are also seen as experienced individuals and professionals in their entirety.
It's important that we can acquire and develop not only cognitive knowledge, but above all, physical sensation. This can only happen through direct and very conscious sexual acts in a therapeutic sense. This isn't about enjoying a commercial service for a fee; it's about self-discovery, getting to know one's own sexuality, and developing sexual competence and relationship skills, with the help of our teachers, the sexworkers.
Our teachers, the sex workers, often bring with them not only extensive practical experience but also training in sex education and sex therapy, which they can incorporate into this work. They approach you as a man with a great deal of sexual security, competence, and openness.
The foundation for this new approach to sexuality is Slow Sex. Only through slowness is it possible to discover, develop, and integrate a deeper emotional and more connected sexuality. This slowness and the accompanying relaxation are of utmost importance for a space in which to find peace, security, and relaxation within one's own sexuality.
Sex workers, in particular, have extensive experience in guiding stress and pressure to succeed in sexuality toward relaxation and emotional nourishment. All sexual acts that take place here are therefore based on the relaxation method of Slow Sex.
The practical and valuable aspect of this is that sex workers, in particular, understand the importance of communication and, within it, consent. Sex workers are often masters at clearly defining boundaries, exploring desires without judgment or judgement, and thus creating a safe space for these desires. Sex workers are thus also role models for clear and respectful sexual communication, which both men and women can transfer into their relationships.
In this context, sexual acts are also strictly governed by clear rules, consent, and awareness. Even though sexual acts may occur here, they always take place in a controlled, educational, and therapeutic space.
Why Slow Sex?
Focus from performance pressure to relaxation, awareness, and deep connection.
The benefits for men are:
Relaxation and mindfulness:
Through slowness and consciously experiencing the moment, we men can learn to be more present in our bodies, reduce stress, and relax, which is often perceived as a cure for sexual problems.
The method teaches us to view ejaculation and orgasm as separate events. We can learn to contain ejaculation (ejaculatory control), which can extend the sexual encounter over longer periods.
Overcoming sexual problems: The practice can help overcome problems such as premature ejaculation or erectile difficulties by focusing on relaxation and sensitivity rather than increasing arousal.
Emotional and spiritual strengthening: Slow sex emphasizes strengthening emotional and spiritual connection. The slowness creates space for deeper intimacy, bonding, and the experience of sexuality as a kind of "meditative union."
Holistic experience: Men learn to experience their sexuality more consciously and mindfully, leading to a deeper understanding of their own bodies and sensations.
In summary, slow sex offers men a way to experience their sexuality as a healing and empowering instrument of love, leading to greater peace, security, and a deeper sense of fulfillment—both in their relationship and within themselves.
The Choice of Teachers: Why Sex Workers for Cis Men and Male-Reading People? This workshop is explicitly aimed at cisgender men and male-identified individuals who wish to unlearn and rediscover their sexuality. The conscious decision to use sex workers as primary teachers in this setting is based on a clear pedagogical consideration that addresses the traditional gender gap and the specific challenges of male socialization. The Patriarchal Mirror: Cisgender men often experience sexuality through the lens of patriarchal performance-based thinking, in which women are sexualized or dehumanized. Interacting with sex workers—who are traditionally perceived as the "other" of the patriarchal system—offers cisgender men a unique opportunity: Recognizing their own dynamics: They reflect the patterns, expectations, and performance anxieties that men have internalized when dealing with the female body and female sexuality. Reflecting on power imbalances: This consciously chosen, professional interaction allows for the uncovering of the power imbalance that can be latent in sexual relationships and for renegotiating one's own role – all on the basis of clear consent and respect. A focus on female expertise for male learning: The sex workers bring profound expertise in interacting with male clients. They are experts in recognizing men's unspoken needs and insecurities in a sexual context. They teach authentic communication, respect, and a shift away from purely functional thinking – precisely the building blocks that cisgender men often lack due to traditional socialization. A comprehensive pedagogical concept: This approach is part of our broader, inclusive concept. In a later course, we will deliberately utilize sex workers and non-binary sex workers as teachers for cisgender women and female-identified individuals. The focus will be on the specific challenges and learning areas of this target group, such as discovering one's own desires, setting boundaries, and exploring male role models from a female perspective. The goal is not to separate the sexes, but rather to optimize specific learning paths. By emphasizing the expertise of each "other," we create the most effective and safe space for profound self-awareness and sexual competence development, which goes far beyond traditional counseling.