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Slow Sex and Sexwork
Why Slow Sex in Sexwork
We know that many cisgender and non-binary people often seek more from sex workers than just a quick encounter or an outlet for pent-up sexual energy.
Many people also seek intimacy, closeness, and yes, even loving companionship. They don't always pay solely for sex; often, they are primarily, and sometimes even unconsciously looking for closeness and intimacy. They are essentially seeking what sexuality is often about, but which is frequently overlooked: a sense of security, relaxation, and the freedom to be oneself.
Many sex workers also offer cuddling, emotional support, and understanding. Slow sex, or loving closeness, provides a way to connect body and heart—something that many people do lack in their lives, especially as they get older. In my work as a sex worker, I have had very positive experiences offering this kind of service to clients of all ages. It has enriched my practice and has been very well received by many of my clients.
What is Slow Sex
Slow sex is about enjoying, feeling, and surrendering—without a goal, without a plan, without expectations. Closeness and intimacy are central to this. It's about experiencing that it's possible to be intimate and sexual with another person without having to perform or achieve anything.
Slow sex is a form of intimacy in which there are no goals to be reached. This means that there are hardly any movements involved, even during intercourse. It is only in this way that many people, both cisgender and non-binary, can experience what they often crave in life: to feel nurtured and touched by the loving presence of another person. This is simply not possible in the common, simplistic "in-and-out" kind of sex.
Therefore, physical union in the context of slow sex is free from movements and stimulation that serve only to elicit pleasure. In this kind of union, the body and nervous system have the peace and time to deeply regulate themselves, to relax, and, above all, to be nourished by affection and connection. Many of my clients described this experience as "finally coming home."
The process of a slow sex session
A slow sex session breaks with many of the conventions of typical sexual encounters.
First and foremost, establishing boundaries and expectations is paramount before any physical contact occurs. This significantly enhances the client's sense of safety and comfort.
The physical work begins with a massage, which can be customized to individual needs. This helps the client to relax and feel comfortable.
Next, still very slowly, the session progresses to sexual union in the "keyhole" or "scissors" position. Penetration is possible with either an erect or non-erect penis, which benefits many men who experience erectile difficulties.
During the union itself, there are either no movements or very minimal movements.
This allows the client to focus more on their own feelings and sensations, rather than on a predetermined pattern of pleasure or performance. This is where the door opens to a deeper connection with oneself and one's own emotions. These feelings, in turn, facilitate a deeper connection with the sex worker, leading to genuine relaxation and a profound sense of connection and intimacy.
This may sound very esoteric or even tantric, but that would be an oversimplification. Many people have never experienced sexuality as a means of deeper connection and genuine human interaction. Often, without realizing it, they are seeking precisely this in intimacy and companionship, rather than sex itself. To experience at least some intimacy and connection, many clients settle for conventional sex. But it doesn't have to be that way.
And so, slow sex sessions typically last at least 2 to 3 hours. Many of my clients initially hesitated, given the length of time and the associated cost. However, this service has become so popular that it now accounts for over 50% of my bookings.
What your clients experience and take with them
Clients experience a form of physical connection that is deeply nurturing and fulfilling.
It is not merely a means of sexual gratification, but rather a way to address and heal emotional needs related to love and affection.
These individuals finally receive what they truly seek: intimacy, touch, nourishment, and love.
Courses and Workshops only for Sexworker
I enjoy giving presentations and conducting day-long workshops specifically for sex workers on the topic of slow sex.
In these workshops, I provide tips on what a slow sex setting can look like, what challenges may arise, and how to best support clients during this experience.
This approach is particularly challenging for many cisgender men at first, as they are often unfamiliar with this type of sexuality. They may also experience losing their erection from time to time, as this can happen naturally when they relax and are not under constant stimulation.
Supporting them through this process is very important. In my workshops, I demonstrate ways to address these uncertainties effectively and transform them into a feeling of relaxation, rather than one of tension and pressure.
If you are interested in a presentation at your workplace for all sex workers, or simply for yourself or in a group, please feel free to contact me or find more information here:
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